Happy belated Easter/Ostara/eating way too much food/days of sale-priced chocolate! Whatever you do - or don't - celebrate, I hope you had a great long weekend.
Ever have those times where, when things start to go in a really awesome direction for you, there's a part of you that's hanging back going "wait... wait. Wait for it." and is generally sort of a damper on all your excitement? It's the voice in the back of your head that keeps you from really enjoying what's happening around you because you're waiting for the other shoe to drop, even if folk tell you you're being silly.
Well, this April... to quote Nick Fury, "Ant, meet boot." The beginning of the year has been great - my TV pilot, Otherworld, got some great feedback and some attention, I had a bit of freelance work, and I'm (almost) ready for a trip to Ireland in May! I have been planning this sucker for ages and, yes, I am going to spend a night in an honest-to-goodness castle. Because... yeah. Castles!! And considering Otherworld takes place in Ireland, it's a ton of fun mixed with a bit of research. There were a lot of encouraging things happening in my life, and for the most part, I could ignore the tiny voice in my head going, "wait.... wait."
My dad had heart surgery, my grandmother had some health issues, and even after getting the chance to travel back home and see my father, well... he's recovering, but it took a lot out of him. It was a bit of a shock, and there was a lot of feeling helpless because I'm not anywhere close by to help out.
To top it all off, we found out yesterday that another family member, who's already kicked cancer's ass, has been dragged into round 2 of the fight with some pretty nasty cancers getting a few sneaky shots in before anyone realized what it was.
So to say I haven't been focused on writing since my last post is a bit of an understatement. But even as I'm dragging myself into my chair to write this (I may have a chunk of chocolate with me as I'm doing this), the act of writing - even if it's sort of depressing and not my usual preference of fantasy - has always been something that pulls me out of my slumps. And life doesn't tend to slow down, even when it's busy stomping you in the face. Now, I'm not trying to blow my own horn because I still have a long way to go, but it's been an interesting internal battle between writing this and putting it off again. The temptation to grab my favourite book and stress about being stressed about not writing because then I'll have something to feel bad about that isn't related to health issues is strooonnnnggg right now. And so, I sit myself down, and I write.
And I'm not saying I'm never going to slip into the habit of procrastination ever again, or indulge in a binge-watching day instead of reading a script. Because, yeah, I'm me. There will be days. There wouldn't be balance in my life if everything was sunny, and it's not going to be no-fun-crappy forever. I have some really awesome friends and family, a new project to work on (King Arthur, anyone?), and a few things coming down the line, hopefully soon. So, while there are definitely some rough times up ahead, I'm looking forward to some May flowers.
In the meantime, the habits and familiarity and comfort of writing is definitely going to be my go-to for the April showers. And maybe, just maybe, I'll have a tidbit of writing to share with you soon.